New Kicks & Fairy Tricks

This picture completely captures the difference between boys and girls. Austin has a football and a basketball in his arms. Halie is prancing and dancing down the hallway in fairy wings and a tu-tu.

Austin got some new Crocks for Christmas. Today was a big day, the first day he let me put them on without throwing an all out fit! Our previous attempts have ended with screaming, standing with feet planted to the ground, determined he was not going to walk in them, then when he would walk he lifted each leg very carefully and very high, he reminded me of a show horse doing a high step. But it appears we are now over that hurdle!

Halie, sorry, Fairy Princess Halie got all dressed up today to put on a dance show. I tried to get the video on, but am not quite smart enough to figure that out yet. I'll upload it later if I can learn how. She made me a beautiful invitation, which she is holding, and proceeded to place all her stuffed animals on the couch with Austin and myself as her audience. The girl loves to dance!

The evening ended with a trip to Yogurtville, a new yogurt place close to our house. We were pleasantly surprised by it and will probably be visiting it many more times. You get to pick from many flavors of fat free, but oh so tasty frozen yogurt, then get to pick as many toppings (54 to pick from i think) to put on your yogurt, then you pay for it by the ounce. Like I already said, YUMMMY! They had a cheesecake yogurt that really tasted like cheesecake and it was fat free!!!!

I had to post another song that speaks for me in better words than i can express myself. I heard this song earlier this fall, shortly after God took hold of my heart in a way i have never felt before in my life. It is strange to me that this song could apply to a believer, because before a few months ago that is not how I would have understood this song. But I feel like this song represents a step in my walk at this time. Another song that always haunted me before was one by U-2, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" - not sure if that is the exact title...anyway. "I believe in the kingdom come, then all the colors bleed into one but yes i'm still running. You broke the bonds and you loosed the chains, carried the cross of my shame oh my shame. You know I believe it. But I still haven't found what I'm looking for." Every time I heard that song, I sadly had to agree with the words. I believed it, but was still looking for something. Praise God, praise God, praise God, he has taken that away from me!!!! He has replaced that longing and searching, He did it, I didn't. I feel like a different person now, this 3rd day song says it all.....



Born Again - 3rd Day

Today I found myself, After searching all these years,
And the man that I saw, He wasn't at all who I'd thought He'd be,
I was lost when You found me here, And I was broken beyond repair,
Then You came along and sang Your song over me
It feels like I'm born again. It feels like I'm living for the very first time,
for the very first time, In my life

Make a promise to me now,Reassure my heart somehow,
That the love that I feel, is so much more real than anything
I've a feeling in my soul, And I pray that I'm not wrong,
That the life I have now,It is only the beginning

It feels like I'm born again. It feels like I'm living for the very first time.
For the very first time, it feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving for the very first time
For the very first time

I wasn't looking for something that was more, Than what I had yesterday,
Then You came to me,Then You gave to me, Life and a love that I've never known,
That I've never felt before.

It feels like I'm born again. It feels like I'm living for the very first time.
For the very first time, it feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving for the very first time
For the very first time, In my life .

For as long as I can remember, the verses on being lukewarm in my faith always made me very uncomfortable. It is because I was lukewarm and I knew it. It wasn't that I wanted to be that way, because I didn't. I prayed all the time that God would set my heart on fire for Him. I am not one to question God's timing in my life or the lives of others, but seriously, I have prayed for a deeper walk with him, a fire, for wisdom for a long time, a long time, and now I sit and try to figure out, "why now?". I think I can see that I was holding onto a lot of stuff that was keeping me from 100% all out trusting Him, and I think that is part of what held me back. I had fears, hopes, dreams that I wanted to see come to pass. If I had to give Him my fears, that meant my fears might come true. If I gave him my hopes for the future, that might mean they might not come true. But His gentle, loving voice, somewhere deep inside of me kept reminding me that He knows best. I had to realize that this life has more to do with me and what I want. I had to let go. It is hard to let go. I had to let go of the fear of Paul or one of the kids dying. I had to give up my fear of me dying and my kids growing up not knowing their me. That was hard to do. Yes it would a horrible thing to go through, but ultimately, God knows what it best. And even more importantly, He has changed my mindset from my 100 yrs here on earth to eternity. I WILL see them again, for eternity. Our lives are really just a blink of an eye compared to the perfect eternity I will get to spend with Paul, Halie and Austin in heaven. I still tear up thinking about loosing one of them, but along with that I have a peace in my soul I have never felt before. Next, my hopes for the future. Paul and I loved to go look at houses and plan all the space we would have in our next home. No more office in the bedroom!! A room for the toys!!! A beautiful kitchen!! All those things would be great to have, and who knows, maybe one day we will. But I had to hand that over to Him too. In the past, in my mind, we WERE going to have those things. At this point in our lives, we are waiting to see what our next step is, and who knows, we could be living in a hut in Africa!! (probably not, but you never know). And you know what, I couldn't be happier or more at peace, even not knowing what a year from now holds for us. I could have "said" that in the past, that I was at peace, but it was nothing compared to what I feel now. All that to say, I think it was when I truly handed over 100% control to Him that I was in a place that He could begin to work in me. This work God has done in me has given me such a heart for those who were just like me, Christian to the core on the outside, feeling empty and longing on the inside. I want so desperately for everyone to see and experience God's love and his grace for them. Such peace and such excitement He has to give! I am excited about God!!! Really!!! So much more to say, but that will be for another day.....

Favorite Things

Halie - 4 1/2
Favorite Color - Depends on the day, most the time pink and purple. Today I was informed it was white or black.

Favorite Toys- Barbies and dress up clothes. Also occasionally enjoys playing with her baby dolls and coloring.

Favorite Books - anything you will read to her! Bernstein bears are always a winner. She loves her bible stories that dad reads to her each night too. We read Rumpelstiltskin for the first time tonight, she just laughed and laughed and asked to read it again, but i think that was because she knew it was time to go to bed

Favorite Food - peanut butter and jelly/or honey sandwiches, yogurt, any type of candy, berries of any kind. unfortunately at this point she has more unfavorite foods than favorite. Oh, how can i forget, chocolate! but could she really be mason if that were not one of her favs?? i think not.

Favorite restaurant - unfortunately it is Cheesecake Factory. All she ever gets there is pasta noodles with no sauce though. hmmmm, what else could it be that makes her love it so much???? oh yea, dessert! once again, the masons very rarely pass up the opportunity for a good dessert.

Other favorites - her bike and scooter, dancing, going to the lake house, hot bubble baths, tv - how could i forget that! school!

Favorite TV shows/movies - Curious George (not sure who likes it more, her or dad), Jungle Junction, Handy Manny, Clifford, Little Einsteins, All Disney Princess movies, Barbie movies, unfortunately the list could go on and on. That is why we make rules about how much TV can be watched each day. One day she'll understand.


Austin 16 months

Favorite Toy - anything that is not a toy. Water pitchers, kitchen utensils, brooms (as seen above), coffee mugs, vacuum cleaner, cups, my makeup bag, occasionally he will still pick up a ball and throw it, keys, cell phones, etc....

Favorite Book - doesn't believe in reading yet, looks at one page and shuts the book.

Favorite Food - 2 weeks ago i would have said "anything you put in front of him", but since then, he has started to become more picky. He pushes away quite a variety of veggies, pears and even some carbs now ( he once was a lover of all things carbs). I am hoping maybe it has something to do with the 4 eye teeth that are coming in right now. Surely he'll reacquire his taste for vegetables, right???

Favorite words - or only words, however you would like to phrase it - Daddy & Doggie are by far the 2 favorites. Occasionally while crying, mama will come out. He has started saying Halie - very cute. ball, nana, coffee (seriously, i really think he says it while he is holding a mug) and that about sums it up!

Other favs - daddy, loves his daddy, but loves his mommy too :) loves Halie, he is much more at peace when she is home, loves Chewy...Chewy tolerates him, loves his blue soft blankets, don't try to put him to bed without it! and baths, i have found him crawling into the empty bath a couple of times!


Family favs - having dad at home and not studying!!! we love it, but unfortunately, he started back yesterday. hopefully this semester will not be as trying as ones in the past.

My goals for this year -
Continue to grow in my love for Jesus, I have spent so many years doing for Him and not loving Him, and you know what, it was very unfulfilling and tiring. Learning to love Him has been incredible and the "doing" is enjoyable now!

Grow in my love and appreciation for my husband. I love him so much and he has so many wonderful things to offer, I want to continue to fall in love with him and those incredible things about him and to encourage him as he seeks God's plan for our family in the future.

Show more patience and grace to my kids. I need to remember "she is 4, not 30".

Drink more water. Goal - 2 L a day

Run a Half-Iron Man Triathlon - already signed up for it in April, guess that means i'd better get after it or it is going to be a rough day!!

Utilize my calendar and lists more this year. I have lots of thoughts up in my head, but they get confused and I make silly mistakes. I am going to approach this year in a more organized way.

Stay in better touch with my friends.

I am sure I could name tons of other things, but this seems like a pretty good list to get me started!

1st Dance Class

Halie had her first dance class last Tuesday and loved it. She is so excited about dancing. I am happy for her to be learning something she is so excited about. All the other girls in the class have been in the class for a while, so she has a lot to learn, but she should be able to catch up by her recital in June.

So unworthy

it is 7:45, the family is about to wake up. i have been able to sit and have some great quiet time for the last hour. it is hard to get up and do it, but always so nice once you get into it. i have been reading through luke and have really been enjoying it. on saturday, one verse in particular really got me. it's apparently lukes version of the sermon on the mount, or a sermon very similar to that, talking about loving those who do not love you, etc..... luke 6:35 "but love your enemies and do good, and lend expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men." the last part is what got me. we are evil and ungrateful men, he has the power to squash us out and not deal with us anymore and he continues to love. what an example He is to us. then today i was reading in chapter 7. the first part is about a roman official who had a slave that was sick, he called to have Jesus come heal him. then, after sending men to get Jesus, he sent more to stop Him from coming to his house. why??? because he realized He was completely unworthy of having Christ enter his home. It says Jesus even marveled at him. he got it, he understood how unworthy we are of God. God has been working on my heart, showing me that despite how good i look (spiritually) on the outside, i am in desperate need of his saving grace. i have felt in the past that my sins are not as bad as the murderer, adulterer, thief, etc..... in reality, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". yes, me too. it is so much easier to offer grace to others when you realize what grace has been offered to you.

both kids are talking, time to start a new day! halie has her first day of ballet today! i'll post some pics later.

Happy New Year!!!

The first blog of a new year..... All the thoughts about what this new year will bring. Paul and I were talking about it on our drive back from the lake house today, and we are both so excited to see what this year has in store. For our family, it will be hard to top 2009, which was our best year yet, but I am confident that if we allow God to continue to teach us and lead us, He has an incredible year ahead of us.

We ended 2009 at the lake house with Mike, Rebecca, Jax and Camden (Camo, Bam-Bam). We had a great time relaxing, hanging out and doing a whole lot of nothing. The kiddos had a great time playing and getting into trouble. The babies kept things lively! They both discovered the water dispenser and how fun it was to get water out and everywhere. Even with a chair blocking the way, they both managed (multiple times) to sneak over there with a huge, proud grin, get their grubby little hands through the chair and let the water pour out. They both already know how to work a room, just look at those smiles!!! It will get them far in life......

Halie and Jax had a great time playing all sorts of make believe games. Those two are such good buddies and have been since they were the little boys age. I pray that friendship continues as they grow older!

Daddy was very helpful today getting the house all cleaned up. He was on kiddo duty, he kept the kids entertained and off of me, and I was able to get work done. It worked out really well, he even changed diapers! After we left the lake house today we drove 100 miles to Maybank, TX to visit Paul's grandma. So , we pull up to her house and I go to get Austin out of the car and he is soaked in pee. I though to myself "my goodness, he really leaked out of this diaper", that is when i noticed the diaper intended to catch pee, hanging out the right leg of his pants. Still not quite sure how that happened, but somehow, when applied by a dad, it is possible to get a diaper fall out the leg of pants while sitting in a car seat. (picture included below!!!)

It was a great weekend at the lake, but also a little sad as I realized that this visit could be our last up there. Mom and dad are putting the house up on the market and planning to sell it. We have so many good memories from up there and will miss having it in the family. I didn't have the heart to tell Halie. That will be a job for Nana and Papa!!! Good luck Nana :) It is good for me too though. Keeping it real that stuff is stuff, I don't need it to be happy. Looking back, there are many other things in life that I have been sad to let go of, but none of it ever killed me. Change is good. Something I am learning from my husband. Change is good, not bad. We are truly blessed. I love my life and am so thankful for that, because i know not everyone can say that. Looking forward to a wonderful 2010!!!!